The truth is…

Soooo I was talking to a friend, and while we were speaking, she said: “You’re beautiful, but why are you still single?” At first, when I heard the question, I thought any woman would be able to answer that. You know, men are easy to find, but finding a good man is where it gets tricky. While overthinking the question, I began asking myself, “why are you still single”? Well, maybe it’s because my nose is too big, my smile is too broad that it scares men away, or perhaps it’s that one eye that begins to show it’s irregularities when I’m stressed, or maybe it’s my unclear face. Honestly, The list can go on forever, but there’s probably so many flaws I see in myself that I can think of to determine why I’m still single. But, what you see in yourself is not what others see, so that’s beside the point.

I figured that being honest with myself and others is probably the best way to really get this off my chest. So, here goes everything. The reason why I’m single is that… it’s just not my time yet. ( lol that wasn’t so hard) I’ve seen myself fall and get back up for so-called relationships I thought I could build on. Keyword “I”! Although my reality check slapped me in my face, spat on me and did it all over again, I knew it was going to be okay because, in every situation where I encountered those moments, I had to remind myself that it is not my time. It’s not my time because forcing conversations out of a person is a waste of time. Draining yourself to meet specific standards that you know are impossible to reach isn’t worth it, going the extra mile for someone without recognition isn’t fair and crying late nights for someone who will never appreciate you for you is insane.

This year has shown me so much about myself. Things that I would not be able to discover if I had a man in my life right now. I found myself saying, “I love who I am with you,” but at the same time, losing myself as I got lost in all the feels. Don’t get me wrong, feelings are great. They spark this excitement in your soul and your body that is difficult to get rid of. It’s a good feeling. But, it’s not the best when you get lost in those feelings for the wrong person. With the people I’ve dealt with in the past, I found myself being dependent on them to fill me with confidence, joy, and happiness that I lacked. Rather than me having all of those traits before trying to build. You know, that typical “girl syndrome”. When I realized the problem, I knew that I had to fall in love with myself because, like that famous saying goes, “girl, if you don’t love yourself, no one will”. That saying resonated in my mind always, and I did just that.

But most importantly, I fell in love with Jesus. Although, to some, they may find this cliche, I must admit that there is no greater love than God’s love. So shout out to God for holding it down for the rest of my life.

Anyway, the moral of all of this is that God has someone out there for you. There’s no need to date guys or talk to guys for “the experience”. Because when you think about it, you’re merely wasting time and leaving a piece of “you” with them. So, don’t rush God’s process but trust his plan.